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When the new year comes, I always feel a bit caught off guard. (It’s not really already 1987 is it??) So while everyone is posting about their new year’s resolutions or how excited they are for whatever new amazing big thing is coming in the new year, I’m just left feeling confused, bewildered and slightly nauseated. I move a little slower. It takes a little longer for my brain to process stuff. So here I am in March, contemplating what I want more of and less of in the (currently only slightly used) new year.
She didn’t want love, she wanted to be loved–and that was entirely different.
Atticus
Things I Want More Of
I want more gratitude for all I have because I have a lot.
I want more consistency. I don’t want to give up, stop and have to start all over again all the freakin’ time.
I want to actually finish stuff I start. I am tired of quitting and I want to keep going until it doesn’t even feel like effort anymore.
I want more mindfulness, being more in the moment. I am tired of not even realizing what I am doing half the time and missing out on the fun and memories in the making of my life.
I want more belief in myself and with that more action towards what I want. I want to learn more, but even more than that: I want to DO more with what I’ve learned.
I want more time with my family. I want to enjoy more time with my family. I want more game nights, more impromptu dance parties and more ice cream at 2 am.
I want to smile more. I want to smile at strangers and friends and family more. I want more people to know that they are seen and important and loved.
I want to show more compassion to myself and others. Life is hard and we all have our own issues, but that doesn’t mean we can’t give grace to others.
I want more kindness. I want it in myself because I want it in the world. There is no worse feeling than an interaction with a stranger or a friend where it just feels like that person didn’t make any effort. And I truly believe the old line “Kindness begins with me.”
I want to love more. I want to make sure that everyone in my life that I love knows that every single day because I have told them and also because I have shown them through my actions.
I want to learn more of the lessons life is teaching me and I want to be grateful for those lessons and learn from them so that I can move ahead and learn new things.
Things I Want Less Of
I want less of taking things for granted. It’s so easy not to notice what I have. I want less of noticing what I lack.
I want less of feeling afraid, of overthinking, or not feeling like I am worth it so I don’t even make the effort, or even worse: just give up.
I want less of believing that I have no purpose. I want to dream big and know that I am worthwhile and that I will succeed at what I put my mind and heart to.
I want less of trying to please everyone. Because I don’t. I can’t. I want less of sacrificing my own happiness to try to make someone else happy because it doesn’t work like that.
I want to dream less because I want to do more. I am tired of existing. I want to go out and change the world or at the very least, my little corner of it.
I want less complaining. I have gotten to the point where I can hardly stand to hear it. I can’t imagine how other people must feel. If there’s an issue that I can change I must change it. If it’s outside of my control, then I must let it go.
I want to spend less time on my smartphone or watching TV. I want to spend time in nature, go camping and hiking, go to the park and blow bubbles, go dancing on the beach, just spend more time in the real world.
I want less competing with others, less assuming that I know what someone means when I don’t know them at all. I don’t want to be indifferent to those around me. I want to be vulnerable and seek to understand someone else more. I want to become a shining beacon to the world of what is possible.
I want less stuff. I want to care for the things that I already have and let go of the compulsion to spend an afternoon shopping as a form of entertainment. It’s easier on the earth, on my bank account and it’s less to keep track of.
I want less division. I believe that at our core, we all are so much more alike than different. I believe that all each of us wants is to be heard, to be acknowledged, to be seen. I want to see people.
I want less of seeing myself as a failure. Of asking why me, instead of why not me. I want to acknowledge that I am a mess, but a beautiful, human mess and in that mess is potential for greatness and great compassion.
I don’t know that I will succeed at this list. I don’t know if anyone can and certainly not within one year. But what I do know is that I can try. I can improve. I can make different choices every day until my life starts to reflect these things that I want more of and less of. I know that I won’t like myself very much if I don’t. I know that my effort will change the world around me, but even more than that it will change me. And that is worth the effort.
What things do you want more of or less of in your life? Let me know in the comments below.
Email: Katie@KatieMerrill.com
Simplicity is making the journey of this life with just baggage enough.
Charles Dudley Warner
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